Ever wonder, “I need closure meaning what, exactly?” Well, closure is that feeling of finality, resolution, peace, understanding, and release you crave after something big ends, like a relationship or a job.
Basically, it’s about understanding why something ended and accepting it. When you get closure, it’s easier to heal emotionally, process your feelings, and finally let go. Without it, the grieving process can get stuck, and you can’t move on.
It’s important to remember that closure is a personal thing. There’s no single “right” way to get it. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay.
Understanding the need for closure
What does it look like if you don’t have closure? Here are some common signs.
Recognizing the signs you haven’t found closure
- You can’t stop thinking about a relationship or event. You’re still energetically, mentally, or emotionally tangled up in it.
- You don’t understand what happened.
- You replay the relationship or event over and over in your mind.
- You’re questioning your self-worth.
- You’re holding on to anger or resentment.
Challenges in achieving closure
Why is closure so hard to get?
- It’s hard to let go.
- The ending of the relationship wasn’t clear.
- You have intense emotions like guilt, shame, or grief.
- You feel blocked by the other person.
Different Types of Closure
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to finding closure. It can be a deeply personal journey or something you achieve with others. Here are a few different ways people find closure:
- Personal Closure: This is all about you. Think self-reflection, journaling, and really digging deep to understand your own feelings.
- Mutual Closure: This involves talking and understanding between everyone involved. It means communicating respectfully and setting clear boundaries.
- Expert-Guided Closure: Sometimes, you need a little help from a therapist or counselor. They can offer guidance and coping strategies to help you move forward.
Strategies and techniques for achieving closure
Okay, so you’re actively trying to get closure. What can you do?
- Self-reflection and journaling: Taking the time to reflect on the situation and your own growth is key. Journaling can be a powerful tool to process emotions and gain new insights.
- The “Why?” Technique: Sometimes, understanding the reasons why something ended can help. But be prepared for the fact that you might not get all the answers you’re looking for. Acceptance is important.
- Writing a letter (unsent): Pouring your thoughts and feelings into a letter can be incredibly cathartic, even if you never send it. It’s a way to express everything without the pressure of a response.
- Practicing empathy and forgiveness: Try to see the bigger picture and consider what the other person might have been going through. Practice empathy for their stressors. And, perhaps most importantly, do some forgiveness work – for yourself and for them. Forgiveness replaces toxic feelings with a more flexible and compassionate outlook.
- Detoxing from social media: This one’s huge. Research shows that cutting back on social media (a lot – like, nearly 80% less!) can significantly improve your life satisfaction, lower your stress levels, and boost your overall sense of well-being. It’s worth a shot!
The Importance of Letting Go
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to accept that you won’t get closure. Trying to force it can be more harmful than helpful. As psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb puts it, “It’s a radical act for many of us to let a relationship go, especially when we have to do it without the other person doing the same.”
Moving on without closure is sometimes the healthiest choice. Focus on self-care and personal growth to help you let go. Using powerful affirmations for self-love and success can aid in this process. Realize you might never get all the answers you crave, and that closure isn’t a straight line – it’s a process with ups and downs, but trusting the process can help you find your inner peace.
Acceptance is key. Learning to live with the uncertainty and the unanswered questions can be incredibly empowering.
SEEKING SUPPORT AND PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE
If you’re struggling to find closure on your own, don’t hesitate to lean on your support system. Talk to your friends, your family, or anyone else you trust.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is seek professional help. A therapist can provide coping strategies and guidance to help you find peace and release. They can give you tools to move forward, even when closure feels impossible to achieve on your own.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean when I want “my closure?”
When someone says they want “closure,” it usually means they desire a sense of finality or resolution regarding a past event, relationship, or experience. It’s a yearning for understanding, acceptance, and a feeling of being able to move forward without being constantly haunted by unresolved questions or emotions. It’s about finding a way to make peace with what happened and integrate it into your life story.
What does it mean for someone to “need” closure?
Needing closure suggests a deep emotional impact from the unresolved situation. It implies that the lack of resolution is actively hindering their ability to function fully, maintain healthy relationships, or experience peace of mind. It’s not just a preference but a perceived necessity for emotional healing and continued growth. Without it, they may feel stuck, replaying the event in their mind, and struggling to let go.
What does “closure” mean for a person?
Closure is a subjective and individual experience. What constitutes closure for one person may be entirely different for another. For some, it might mean receiving an apology or explanation. For others, it could involve simply accepting the situation as it is, without needing external validation. Ultimately, closure represents a personal sense of completion, allowing them to move forward with a renewed sense of hope and self-understanding. It’s about reclaiming control over their narrative and choosing to focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past.
Putting It All Together
Finding closure is so important for your emotional health and well-being, and it’s crucial for moving forward after a difficult event or relationship. But it’s important to remember that closure isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, and it’s not a linear process. There’s no final destination you’re trying to reach, just a path you’re trying to walk.
Be kind to yourself during this process. It’s okay to struggle, and it’s okay to ask for help. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.
Ultimately, finding closure can lead to significant personal growth and healing. It allows you to process your experiences, learn from them, and move forward with a greater sense of peace and understanding.