It’s frustrating and stressful when someone won’t leave you alone. Whether it’s an ex, a neighbor, or a persistent salesperson, unwanted contact can disrupt your life and make you feel unsafe.
This article focuses on the legal methods you can use to stop unwanted communication. While simply asking someone to stop might work in some cases, sometimes you need to take further action to protect yourself.
Understanding what constitutes harassment and the legal recourse available to you is crucial. You have rights, and the law provides ways to enforce them.
We’ll explore various legal options, including sending a cease and desist letter, obtaining a restraining order, and other strategies you can use to legally tell someone to stop contacting you. These methods provide a formal and legally binding way to protect yourself from unwanted attention.
Understanding Harassment
Before you take legal action, it’s important to understand what legally constitutes harassment. After all, there’s a difference between being annoyed by someone and being harassed by them.
Defining Harassment
Harassment is unwanted behavior that is repetitive and threatens, offends, or demeans the victim. It’s behavior that causes emotional distress, and the key is that it’s unwanted and repetitive.
Harassment can take many forms, including:
- Sexual harassment: Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
- Abuse: Cruel and violent treatment that could include physical, verbal, or emotional attacks.
- Workplace harassment: Bullying or intimidation in a professional setting.
- Threats: Statements or actions that cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety.
- Stalking: Repeatedly following, contacting, or harassing someone, causing them to fear for their safety.
What is NOT Harassment?
Not all annoying behavior rises to the level of harassment. A single incident, or even a series of disagreements, usually isn’t considered harassment. Harassment requires a pattern of behavior over time.
The behavior also has to cross a certain legal line. To be considered harassment, the behavior must be severe or pervasive enough to create a hostile environment. This means the behavior is so offensive or intimidating that it interferes with your ability to live your life, do your job, or attend school.
Initial steps: Documenting and communicating
Before you involve law enforcement or the court system, there are some important steps to take. These involve documenting the harassment and communicating directly with the person who is harassing you.
The importance of documentation
If the harassment continues and you decide to take legal action, detailed records are essential. Each time the person contacts you, note the date, time, and every detail of the incident.
It’s also important to save any evidence, such as emails, texts, voicemails, or social media posts. If there are witnesses to the harassment, ask them to sign an affidavit that corroborates your account of what happened.
High quality documentation strengthens any future legal case you may bring.
Directly informing the harasser
It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s often necessary to directly inform the harasser that their behavior is unwanted. You must clearly and firmly state that they must stop all contact. Keep a record of this communication, including the date and time you sent the message.
This step is crucial before taking further legal action because it establishes that the harasser is aware their behavior is unwelcome. A judge may be reluctant to grant a restraining order if you haven’t clearly told the person to stop contacting you.
Sending a cease and desist letter
Sometimes, a direct conversation isn’t enough. If someone continues to harass you after you’ve asked them to stop, you may want to send a cease and desist letter. It’s a formal way of saying, “Stop this behavior immediately.”
What is a cease and desist letter?
A cease and desist letter is a written request demanding that someone stop a specific action. It’s a critical first step in documenting that you’ve told the person to stop harassing you. By sending a cease and desist letter, you’re creating a record that you object to their behavior.
You can hire an attorney to draft a cease and desist letter for you. You can also create one yourself by using a legal template.
What should I include in the letter?
A good cease and desist letter should include the following:
- Your name and address
- The harasser’s name and address
- A clear description of the unwanted behavior
- A demand that the behavior stop immediately
- A warning that you may take legal action if the behavior continues
- A deadline for the harasser to comply with your request
How do I send the letter?
It’s important to send the letter in a way that you can prove the harasser received it. You can do this by sending it via certified mail with return receipt requested. This will give you a signed card back from the post office, showing that the harasser received the letter.
Keep a copy of the letter and the return receipt for your records. This will be important if you decide to take legal action in the future.
Taking it to the next level: Restraining orders
Sometimes, a cease and desist letter isn’t enough. If you’ve clearly and firmly told someone to stop contacting you, and they persist in harassing you, you may need to consider a restraining order.
A restraining order, also known as a protection order, is a court order that provides legal protection by prohibiting an individual from contacting or approaching another person. The police can enforce these orders, and violating them is a criminal offense.
Types of restraining orders
There are generally two types of restraining orders:
- Temporary restraining orders: These are often issued quickly, pending a full hearing. They provide immediate protection but are short-lived.
- Permanent restraining orders: These are issued after a court hearing where both parties can present evidence. They offer longer-term protection.
How to get a restraining order
- File a petition: You’ll need to file a formal petition with the court, outlining the harassment you’ve experienced. Be as detailed as possible, including dates, times, and specific descriptions of the harassing behavior. Document everything.
- Attend a court hearing: Be prepared to testify under oath and present your evidence to the judge. The harasser will also have the opportunity to present their side of the story.
- Service of process: If the judge grants the restraining order, it will be officially served on the harasser, notifying them of the restrictions.
Enforcing a restraining order
It’s critical to understand that violating a restraining order is a serious criminal offense. If the harasser ignores the order and continues to contact you or approach you, contact the police immediately.
Make sure you have a copy of the restraining order to provide to the police.
Dealing with Online Harassment
Online harassment, often called cyberstalking, presents a unique set of challenges. Social media and other online platforms offer new avenues for people to harass, threaten, and intimidate others. It can feel like there’s no escape when the harassment follows you onto your phone and into your home.
So, what can you do? First, block the harasser’s contact information and social media accounts. Cut off their access to you as much as possible. Second, report the harasser’s account to the platform where the harassment is taking place. These platforms often have policies against harassment and can take action against the offending account.
Critically, save screenshots of the harassment as evidence. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action. Cyberstalking is a crime in many places, and having evidence of the harassment will strengthen your case.
When to Contact the Police
If you’ve told someone to stop contacting you and they don’t, the police can step in and issue warnings or even pursue criminal charges, especially if the person’s behavior constitutes harassment.
You should contact the police immediately if:
- You are in immediate danger.
- The person harassing you is violating a restraining order.
- The harassment involves threats of violence.
- The harassment is actually stalking.
When you file a police report, make sure to provide the police with as much evidence of the harassment as you can. This could include screenshots of texts (including manipulative texts), emails, or social media posts, as well as voicemails or letters. Be sure to get a copy of the police report for your records, as well.
Dealing with harassment can be scary, but remember that you have options. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I legally get someone to stop contacting me?
The first step is always to clearly and directly tell the person to stop contacting you. Document this communication. If they persist, you might consider a cease and desist letter, drafted by an attorney. For more serious harassment or stalking, you may need to pursue a restraining order or protective order through the courts. This usually requires demonstrating a credible threat of harm.
What do I do if someone won’t stop contacting me?
If your initial “stop contacting me” message is ignored, continue documenting all communication. Consider blocking their number and social media accounts. If the contact escalates to harassment, stalking, or threats, contact law enforcement immediately. A police report can be crucial in obtaining a restraining order.
How do you legally tell someone to stop texting you?
The legal process for stopping unwanted texts is the same as for any other form of communication. Send a clear and concise message stating that you want them to stop texting you. Keep a record of this message. If they continue texting, you might consider blocking their number. If the texts are threatening or harassing, report them to the authorities.
How to professionally tell someone to stop contacting you?
In a professional setting, be direct but polite. You could say something like, “I appreciate you reaching out, but I’m no longer able to assist you with this matter. Please refrain from contacting me in the future.” Document this communication and, if appropriate, inform your supervisor or HR department. If the contact continues and becomes disruptive, involve your company’s legal counsel.
The bottom line
It’s vital to take action if someone is harassing you and won’t stop contacting you. You have the right to feel safe and secure, and the law provides ways to protect yourself.
Start by meticulously documenting every instance of unwanted contact. The more evidence you have, the stronger your case will be. Next, consider sending a cease-and-desist letter, preferably through an attorney, clearly stating that you want all communication to stop immediately. If that doesn’t work, and the harassment continues or escalates, you can seek a restraining order or protective order from the court.
If the person violates the restraining order or engages in behavior that constitutes a crime, such as stalking or threats, contact the police immediately.
Navigating these legal processes can be complex, so it’s always a good idea to seek advice from an experienced attorney who can help you understand your options and protect your rights. Don’t hesitate to get the legal help you need.