The silent treatment is when someone in a relationship withdraws emotionally and stops communicating, which can be similar to why he goes quiet on weekends. It can feel like being shut out in the cold.
Being on the receiving end of the silent treatment can cause anxiety, confusion, and a desperate need for answers. One question that probably keeps running through your head is, “How long will this last?”
It’s tough to know how long someone will give you the silent treatment because so many things can affect their decision. The reasons for the silent treatment, the personalities of the people involved, and the dynamics of the relationship all play a part.
In this article, we’ll explore the factors that influence how long someone might ice you out and offer some insights into what could happen next. When you’re wondering, “how long will he come back after silent treatment?” understanding these factors can help you cope with the situation, and decide what to do next.
Factors influencing the duration of the silent treatment
So, how long will he come back after the silent treatment? It’s impossible to say for sure, but here are some of the factors that will affect the length of time he keeps up the silence.
The severity of the conflict
If you had a small disagreement, the silent treatment probably won’t last long. A simple apology or even just acknowledging the other person’s point of view might be enough to break the silence.
But if there was a major conflict or a betrayal, the silent treatment could last longer. Deeper wounds take more time and effort to heal, and the silent treatment might continue until both people feel like they’ve had enough time to process their feelings.
Personality and communication styles
Some people are more prone to using the silent treatment than others. For example, people with avoidant attachment styles may use the silent treatment more often and for longer periods.
People with poor communication skills might also resort to silence as a coping mechanism. Instead of expressing their feelings, they shut down and withdraw.
That’s why it’s important to develop healthy communication strategies, like active listening and expressing your feelings in a clear and respectful way.
Individual coping mechanisms
Sometimes, people need time alone to process their emotions. They might unintentionally extend the silent treatment simply because they need space to think.
But other people use the silent treatment as a form of punishment or manipulation. They might be trying to control the other person or make them feel guilty.
This can create an unhealthy power dynamic in the relationship, where one person is always trying to appease the other.
Typical Timelines for the Silent Treatment
How long does the silent treatment last? It really depends on the people involved and the situation that caused it. Here’s a rough breakdown:
Short-Term Silence (Hours to a Day)
This is often a knee-jerk reaction to immediate frustration or anger. Maybe you said something insensitive without thinking, or perhaps you forgot an important date. These situations can trigger a brief withdrawal.
The good news is that this type of silence usually resolves pretty quickly with open communication. It’s important to address the underlying issue – apologize for what you said, or explain why you forgot the date. Don’t let it fester. A simple “I’m sorry, let’s talk about this” can work wonders.
Mid-Term Silence (Several Days)
If the silence stretches on for several days, it usually indicates a more significant issue or an unresolved conflict. Maybe there’s a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, or perhaps both parties need time to reflect on their roles in the situation.
Breaking this kind of silence requires more effort. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Try saying something like, “I know we’re both upset, but I want to work this out. Can we talk?”
Long-Term Silence (Weeks or Months)
Prolonged silence – lasting weeks or even months – suggests a deeply rooted problem or, potentially, a desire to end the relationship, and can create relationship distance. This is serious territory.
In these situations, professional help is often necessary. Couples therapy or individual counseling can provide a safe space to explore the underlying issues and develop healthier communication patterns. If you’ve tried everything else and the silence persists, it might be time to consider whether the relationship is sustainable.
Signs He Might Be Coming Back
So, how can you tell if he’s about to break the silence? While every situation is unique, here are a few signs that he might be inching his way back:
- Subtle Attempts at Contact: Maybe he’s liking your social media posts here and there, or sending casual, non-confrontational texts. Think “Hey, did you see that game last night?” Nothing directly addressing the issue, but definitely a breadcrumb.
- Increased Proximity: Is he suddenly showing up at your favorite coffee shop or the gym you frequent? Finding excuses to be in the same place as you could be a sign he misses you.
- Indirect Communication Through Mutual Friends: Are your friends telling you he’s been asking about you? Or that he’s expressed regret or remorse for the situation? This is a classic sign he’s trying to gauge your feelings without directly confronting you.
- Changes in His Routine: Did he suddenly start going to that restaurant you both loved? Or attending events you know he’s not particularly interested in, but you are? It might be a sign he’s hoping to run into you.
Remember, these are just potential signs. Don’t jump to conclusions, but keep your eyes open!
What you can do during the silent treatment
The silent treatment sucks. It’s designed to make you feel awful, and can explain why being ignored feels like physical pain. So, what can you do while you’re in the thick of it?
Self-reflection and emotional regulation
Use this time to try to understand your own feelings and reactions. Journaling or mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of what’s going on inside you.
Avoid taking impulsive actions or doing something you’ll regret later. It’s important to maintain your composure.
Maintaining healthy boundaries
Don’t constantly reach out to him or beg for his attention. That just reinforces the silent treatment and shows him it’s effective.
Instead, focus on your own well-being. Spend time doing your favorite hobbies, connect with friends, and take good care of yourself.
Preparing for a productive conversation
When he finally reaches out, be ready to communicate calmly and rationally. Practice active listening and express your needs clearly.
Avoid blaming or using accusatory language. Focus on finding solutions together and moving forward as a couple.
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens to a man when you give him the silent treatment?
The reaction to the silent treatment varies greatly from man to man. Some might feel confused and hurt, prompting them to reflect on their actions and try to understand what went wrong. Others might feel frustrated and angry, particularly if they perceive the silent treatment as manipulative or unfair. Some men, especially those with avoidant attachment styles, might actually welcome the space and distance.
How long until he comes back after no contact?
There’s no set timeframe for when someone might “come back” after a period of no contact. It depends on many factors, including the reasons for the no contact, the individual’s personality, their feelings for you, and whether they perceive the silent treatment as a permanent rejection. It could be days, weeks, months, or never.
Will he come back after the silent treatment?
Whether he comes back depends heavily on the specific circumstances. If the silent treatment was used as a temporary cooling-off period after a fight, and he values the relationship, he might reach out. However, if the silent treatment was prolonged, severe, or perceived as a form of control, he might be less likely to return.
Do narcissists come back after silent treatment?
Narcissists may or may not come back after the silent treatment. They might return if they perceive you as a source of supply (attention, validation, etc.). However, they might also discard you permanently if they feel their ego has been bruised or if they find a new source of supply. Their behavior is often unpredictable and driven by their own needs and insecurities.
Closing Thoughts
As we’ve seen, there’s no magic number for how long someone will give you the silent treatment. It depends on factors like their communication style, the severity of the conflict, and their willingness to address the issue.
In the meantime, it’s important to take care of yourself. This can be a stressful time, so make sure you’re prioritizing your emotional well-being. Engage in activities you enjoy, connect with friends and family, and practice self-compassion.
While open and honest communication is key to resolving conflict and potentially getting things back on track, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to move on. If the silent treatment is a recurring pattern, or if it’s part of a larger pattern of unhealthy behavior, it might be time to consider whether the relationship is truly serving you.