Breakups are rough. It’s hard to disconnect from someone you were once close to. You might feel sad, lonely, or even anxious.
One way to deal with these feelings is to block your ex on social media. Blocking is a way to create distance and set boundaries. It can be a form of self-care during a difficult time.
But is blocking the right move? And if so, how do you do it mindfully?
This article explores the reasons behind blocking someone to get over them, the psychological effects it can have, and how to use this strategy in a healthy way. We’ll even touch on the neurological aspects of relationships and how blocking can help rewire your brain.
Think of it this way: Your brain is capable of changing. It’s a concept called neuroplasticity, and it means you can actually learn to move on. Blocking can be a tool to help you do just that.
Understanding the emotional and psychological impact of a breakup
Breakups hurt. Sometimes, they hurt a lot.
You might hear that you’re “just being emotional” or that you need to “get over it,” but the truth is that emotional pain can be incredibly intense. It’s not just in your head either. Some research suggests that emotional pain can register in your brain in the same way as physical pain.
In a 2011 study, Edward Smith and others conducted MRI analyses and found that the areas of the brain that lit up when people experienced emotional pain were the same ones that lit up when people experienced physical pain. Dr. Guy Winch has also written about this phenomenon.
So, yeah, breakups hurt. The pain is real, and it’s valid. It’s normal to grieve the loss of the relationship and the person you were with.
The role of neurochemicals in relationship attachment
Relationships are built on more than just shared interests and good times. They’re also built on a foundation of neurochemicals like dopamine. Dopamine is released when you think about your partner or spend time with them, activating the reward and motivation system in your brain.
When the relationship ends, the release of these neurochemicals declines, contributing to the pain of separation. In a way, relationships can be addictive. When you disconnect from a relationship, you can experience withdrawal symptoms, much like someone withdrawing from an addiction.
When is blocking the right choice?
It’s not always easy to know when blocking someone is the right thing to do. It can seem harsh or extreme. But sometimes, it’s absolutely necessary for your well-being.
Identifying toxic behaviors and setting boundaries
Blocking someone can be a way to set a boundary that they simply aren’t respecting. This is especially true if you’re dealing with toxic behaviors like:
- Constant contact
- Emotional abuse
- Guilt trips
- Lying
- Manipulative tactics
If you’ve asked someone to stop doing something, and they continue to do it, blocking can be a way to protect yourself from further harm or emotional distress.
Preventing relapse and maintaining no contact
Getting over someone is hard, and there’s often a huge temptation to reach out, even when you know it’s not a good idea. Maybe you just want to see how they’re doing. Maybe you want to tell them something important. Maybe you just miss them.
Blocking can remove that temptation. It prevents you from backsliding into a relationship that isn’t good for you.
Maintaining “no contact” is important for healing. It creates space for you to process your emotions and move forward.
When communication attempts fail
Sometimes, you try to talk to someone, but they just don’t listen. You explain your boundaries, but they ignore them. You ask them to respect your feelings, but they don’t care.
In these cases, blocking can be a last resort, especially if he only talks to me when he feels like it. It’s a way to say, “I’ve tried everything else, and now I need to protect myself.”
Remember, your safety and well-being are paramount. If someone is making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, and especially if they hurt you, learning how to respond to an ex who hurt you, including blocking them, is a valid choice.
Mindful Blocking: A Strategic Approach
Blocking someone can feel like a big deal. It’s not a decision to take lightly, and it’s important to consider all aspects before you click that block button.
Considering the Other Person’s Perspective
Let’s be real: blocking someone can sting. It can feel hurtful, even punitive, to the person on the receiving end. If it’s possible and feels safe, consider talking to the person first. Explain that you need some space and distance to heal, and that blocking them is a necessary step for you.
Blocking as an Act of Self-Compassion
Try to reframe blocking as an act of self-compassion, not punishment. It’s about prioritizing your own healing and well-being. It’s not about making the other person feel bad (though that might be a side effect). It’s about creating a safe space for yourself to process your emotions and move forward.
Be kind to yourself during this process. Remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritize your needs. You deserve to heal, and sometimes that means creating boundaries, even if those boundaries involve blocking someone.
Temporary vs. Permanent Blocking
Blocking doesn’t have to be forever! Think of it as hitting the pause button. It’s a temporary measure to give yourself the space and clarity you need. You can always unblock someone later if you choose to. Knowing that it’s not a permanent decision can make the process feel less daunting.
Ultimately, blocking is a tool. Use it wisely and with intention. Consider the other person’s feelings, but prioritize your own healing. And remember, it’s okay to change your mind.
Rewiring Your Brain: Neuroplasticity and Moving On
Okay, so you’ve blocked them. You’ve taken a big step. But now what? It’s not like your brain suddenly forgets everything, right? That’s where neuroplasticity comes in.
Understanding Neuroplasticity
Think of your brain like a forest. For a long time, you’ve been walking the same path through the trees – the path that leads to thoughts of your ex. Neuroplasticity is basically the idea that you can create new paths and let the old ones grow over. The brain can change over time. The neural pathways associated with that relationship can weaken, and new, healthier pathways can form. It’s about the brain’s incredible power to adapt and heal.
Creating New Habits and Experiences
So, how do you pave those new paths? By creating new routines and activities! Think of it as rerouting the brain’s GPS. Get into hobbies, spend time with friends, explore new interests… basically, anything that gets you thinking and feeling differently. Here are a few actionable tips to break those old patterns:
- Listen to that “our song” while you’re doing something completely new and engaging, like rock climbing or learning to paint.
- Instead of texting your ex when you’re feeling lonely, reach out to a different friend.
The Importance of Self-Care and Support
This whole process isn’t always easy. It’s like building a new road – it takes time and effort. That’s why self-care is so important. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically. Get some exercise, try meditation, spend some time in nature… whatever helps you feel grounded and centered. And remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to your friends, your family, or even a therapist. Having a support system can make all the difference in the world.
Alternatives to Blocking
Blocking someone can feel like a big step, and it’s not always the right one for everyone. There are some less drastic options you can try first to see if they help you get the space you need.
- Muting or Snoozing: Most social media platforms let you mute or snooze someone. This means you won’t see their posts or get notifications about their activity. They won’t know you’ve done this, and you can unmute or unsnooze them later if you change your mind.
- Limiting Social Media Exposure: You can also unfollow them, hide their posts, or even just take a break from social media altogether. Sometimes a little distance is all you need.
- Using “Restricted” Settings: Some platforms have a “restricted” setting that limits what a person can see about you without them knowing. They’ll still be able to see your public posts, but anything you share with friends only will be hidden from them.
Ultimately, the best approach depends on your specific situation and what feels right for you. Experiment with these different options to find what helps you create the space you need to heal and move forward.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does psychology say about blocking someone?
Psychologically, blocking someone is seen as a form of boundary setting. It’s an active choice to limit contact and exposure to someone who may be causing emotional distress. It aligns with the idea of taking control of your environment and protecting your mental well-being. It’s not about being “immature” but rather about self-preservation.
Why is blocking powerful?
Blocking is powerful because it removes the temptation for both parties to engage. It eliminates the possibility of seeing their posts, stories, or even knowing their online status. This cuts off a major source of rumination and second-guessing, allowing you to focus on your own life and healing process. It disrupts the patterns of interaction that may be hindering your recovery.
Does blocking someone help get over them?
Blocking can absolutely help in the process of getting over someone. By creating distance, both physical and digital, you reduce the triggers that remind you of the person and the relationship. It provides space for you to heal, process your emotions, and build a life independent of that person. It’s not a magic cure, but it’s a significant step toward moving on and building a healthier future for yourself.
Putting It All Together
Blocking someone can be an incredibly useful tool as you heal from a breakup. It’s a perfectly valid strategy for setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing your own well-being, and allowing your brain to rewire itself after a relationship ends. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and moving on requires effort. There will be good days and bad days, and that’s perfectly normal. Try not to compare your healing timeline to anyone else’s; everyone processes breakups differently.
Remember, you are stronger than you think. You have the resilience to overcome the challenges of a breakup and create a future that is fulfilling and happy. You’ve got this. Take things one day at a time, be kind to yourself, and focus on building a life you love.