Let’s face it, missing someone is a part of life. It’s a totally normal human feeling that pops up when we’re dealing with loss, separation, or even just distance from someone we care about.
But missing someone is more than just a feeling; it’s a whole psychological experience. It can bring on a rollercoaster of emotions, even some physical symptoms, and it can definitely mess with your overall well-being.
So, what’s really going on in our heads when we start to miss someone? What does the psychology say about how long does it take to miss someone? This article will dive into the science behind missing someone and give you some ideas on how to cope with those feelings.
What missing someone terribly feels like
Missing someone terribly can be a really difficult experience. It’s a mix of emotions and thoughts that can be hard to manage.
Emotional Aspects
- You might feel an intense longing and yearning for that person. It’s like they’re constantly on your mind.
- Sadness, grief, or just a general feeling of emptiness can set in. It’s like there’s a void where they used to be.
- You might also find yourself feeling irritable or restless. It can be hard to concentrate or enjoy the things you usually do.
Cognitive Aspects
- Your mind might be filled with thoughts and memories of the person. You might find yourself replaying past experiences and conversations.
- It’s also common to idealize the person and the relationship you had (if it was a relationship). You might focus on all the good things and forget the bad.
- Finally, it can be hard to accept that they’re gone. Adjusting to a new reality without them can be a struggle.
It’s a complex feeling, and everyone experiences it differently, often leaving people emotionally hurt.
How Do You Know If You Miss Someone?
Missing someone isn’t just about feeling a little sad. It can manifest in several ways, both emotionally and behaviorally. Here are some signs that you’re truly missing someone:
- You can’t stop thinking about them. Their thoughts intrude, popping up when you least expect them, and you struggle to focus on other things.
- They’re in your dreams. You have vivid dreams about them that leave you with strong emotions when you wake up.
- You feel a sense of emptiness. There’s a void in your life, a feeling that something significant is missing.
- Reminders hit you hard. Seeing a place you visited together, hearing a song you both loved, or encountering anything associated with them triggers strong feelings of sadness, anger, or nostalgia.
- You avoid things that remind you of them. You actively try to suppress thoughts and feelings by avoiding places, people, or things that bring back memories.
Why do I still miss them?
Missing someone is a complex emotion, and there are many potential reasons why you might still be feeling the pangs of absence.
Attachment theory perspective
Humans are fundamentally social creatures. We’re wired for connection, and attachment figures play a crucial role in our emotional well-being. When we’re separated from those we’re attached to, it’s natural to experience distress. Past relationship patterns also have a big impact: Unresolved issues or insecure attachment styles can make those feelings of missing someone even stronger.
The role of habit and routine
Think about how the person you’re missing fit into your daily life. Were they a constant presence in your routines? If so, their absence is going to disrupt those established patterns, creating a void. Shared experiences also forge strong neural connections in your brain. Those connections can then trigger memories and longing.
Unfulfilled needs and desires
Did this person meet certain emotional or practical needs for you? Their absence might leave those needs unmet, which can contribute to the feeling of missing them. And if there are unresolved feelings or unfinished business between you, that can definitely prolong the process. Lingering questions or regrets can keep the pain of missing someone fresh.
Can Missing Someone Cause Anxiety?
Missing someone can definitely spark feelings of anxiety. A lot of it comes down to the uncertainty of the situation. You might find yourself caught up in fearing the unknown or constantly worrying about the other person’s well-being.
The fear of loss and abandonment can also play a big role, especially after a separation or the end of a relationship. You might feel anxious about being alone or insecure in social situations without that person by your side.
All of this can manifest as classic anxiety symptoms, like restlessness, trouble concentrating, feeling irritable, and even having trouble sleeping. It’s a tough combination of emotions to deal with, but understanding the connection between missing someone and anxiety can be the first step in managing those feelings.
Can Missing Someone Cause Depression?
Missing someone can be incredibly difficult, and sometimes that feeling can tip over into something more serious like depression. If you’re missing someone and experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s important to be aware of the potential for depression:
- Persistent sadness and hopelessness, a sense of being down and unable to feel joy
- Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy, like hobbies or social gatherings
- Fatigue and low energy, feeling tired and unmotivated
- Changes in appetite and sleep patterns, eating more or less than usual, or having trouble sleeping
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
If these symptoms last for more than two weeks, it’s a good idea to talk to a doctor or therapist. They can help you figure out what’s going on and find ways to cope.
Physical Symptoms of Missing Someone You Love
Missing someone isn’t just an emotional experience; it can manifest physically, too, especially if you miss someone you love. You might experience:
- Tightness in your chest
- Headaches
- Fatigue
- Changes in appetite (either increased or decreased)
- Tearfulness
These physical symptoms are a normal response to emotional distress. However, if these symptoms are persistent or severe, it’s important to talk to a healthcare professional. They can help you determine if there’s an underlying issue and offer strategies for coping with your feelings.
If You Miss Someone, Can They Feel It?
We’ve all heard that when you miss someone, they can feel it. Is there any truth to it?
Unfortunately, there’s no real scientific evidence that people can sense when they’re being missed. However, that feeling of connection might be based on shared experiences, intuition, or even just coincidence.
Even if it’s not “real,” believing in that connection can be psychologically beneficial. It can bring comfort and reinforce the bonds of the relationship. So, even if they can’t really feel it, thinking they can might be enough.
How to Let Them Go
Missing someone is a normal part of life, but when it becomes overwhelming, it’s time to find healthy strategies for moving on. It takes time, patience, and a conscious effort to shift your focus and rebuild your life.
Practical Strategies for Moving On
- Give Yourself Time: Healing isn’t a race. Be kind to yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally.
- Find Social Support: Isolation can make things worse. Connect with friends, family, or a support group to share your feelings and receive encouragement.
- Find Time for Fun: Rediscover activities that bring you joy and engage in them regularly. Laughter and enjoyment are powerful healers.
- Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care. Eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. A healthy body supports a healthy mind.
- Try Mindfulness Meditation: Mindfulness can help you stay present and reduce the tendency to dwell on the past.
- Make New Connections: Open yourself to new relationships and experiences. New friendships and connections can fill the void and broaden your horizons.
- Find Closure: If possible, seek closure by having an open and honest conversation. However, accept that closure isn’t always possible and learn to move forward without it. Sometimes, closure with an ex after years requires internal healing.
- Gain Insight: Journaling can be a powerful tool for processing your emotions and gaining clarity. Focus on the lessons you’ve learned and how you’ve grown.
Reframing the Experience
It is also important to rethink the experience, and see it in a new light.
- Focus on personal growth and resilience. See the experience as an opportunity for self-discovery.
- Practice gratitude. Appreciate the positive aspects of your life and the lessons learned.
- Set new goals and priorities. Focus on building a fulfilling future for yourself.
Ultimately, letting go is about reclaiming your life and creating a future filled with joy, purpose, and new connections.
What to Do When You Miss Someone
Missing someone is never easy, but there are things you can do to cope with the feelings. Here are a few ideas:
- Acknowledge how you feel and accept it.
- Stay connected if you can and if it’s appropriate.
- Do things that you enjoy.
- If the person has passed, remember them.
- Practice gratitude for what you have.
- If you want to see them again, imagine it.
- Understand that pain is part of healing.
Be kind to yourself during this time.
In Closing
Missing someone is a totally normal experience. When you’re struggling with that empty feeling, remember the strategies we’ve discussed: distraction, mindfulness, and expressing your emotions.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Lean on your support system, and make self-care a priority. You’ve got this.